I started slimming world back in winter 2016 and I didn’t think I’d ever lose the two stone I wanted to but I did and I did so by Summer 2017.
Now it’s 2019 I’ve started again but just with a friend rather than going to group. You see I’ve put half of the weight back on and I’m desperate to get it off. I have been busy caring for my family and I haven’t cared for myself as well because I sometimes forget how important that is.
When I joined it wasn’t just about losing weight and feeing good though to be fair when I got to target I was the most confident I’ve been in years. It wasn’t about vanity or wanting to fit in a nice frock.
It was about so much more than that.
It was about being the best mum I could be, about being able to kick a football around with Billy and being able to keep up with Isla so I could keep her out harms way.
It was about my health, about not getting sick, about ageing well, about trying to ensure I’m on this planet for as long as humanly possible so that I’m there when the kids become adults and more specifically I am there to care for Isla for as long as I can be. Isla will need care for the rest of her life and I want to be here to do that. I need to be here to do that for her. As her mum and best friend I want to be here to do that. Billy often tells me not to worry about the future because he will be around to look after Isla but me and John want Billy to have his own life and don’t want to put that responsibility on him. I’m sure Billy would do just as he’s said because that’s the sort of boy he is.
I’ve tried to write a blog so many times about why me and John quite simply can’t ever die but I turn in to a sobbing wreck every time I do. Despite the fact that I do worry about it I wont allow myself to think about it for too long because it will consume me.

Maybe one day I’ll be able to explain, to put in to words what most people are lucky enough to not have to think about.
For now I’m doing everything in my power to make sure I am healthy, fit and able to be the best mum I can for as long as I can, to try and prevent the only thing in life that is 100% guaranteed.
That’s all I can do.
This may look like just a bit of batch cooking but it’s more than that. It’s me trying to be the best mummy and wife I can be, by being the best version of me, a healthier me, a fitter me, a longer living me, a me that’s going to be here to look after my husband and our cherubs for as long as they need me, and longer still.

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